To celebrate the end of my Blogiversary Month (yeah I know it's not the end quite yet but it's Halloween tomorrow and that's hardcore important y'know) I have decided to give you all one of the most important and informative Hick Chic Guides I could ever write.
And now I'm sitting here with a brain freeze.
What am I thinking, writing about sanity?? Do I even know what that is???? What is sane? What is insane?
you've been asking this since you were about twelve years old.
Yeah I know, and have I got an answer yet?
not even close.
So how the heck am I supposed to tell anyone else?
why not call in one of your fake people?
Hey that's a good idea...Oh look, it's my eighteen year old, pickup truck driving, Metallica listening, whiskey drinking, car painting, ragged pre-hunk son of a Scottish trucker!
WILL: I think you're both f#*@ed.
of course you would.
But Will, sanity. How do I explain it when I'm not sure myself how to get it or keep it or even what it is?
WILL: Don't you have work to do? Get your ass outside. F*@# man, there's like a thousand things to do. Quit complaining and get to work. I don't have time for this s&*#.
Hmm. Good idea. I do need to get outside.
WILL: I am full of good ideas. I got a good idea right now...
Ew, I created you, stop flirting with me. You are disgusting. I disgust myself for inventing you. Go away. Geez.
Okay...well that experiment backfired terribly.
he's got a good point though. You have a lot to do today and there's a whole back yard full of leaves. And there's that rapsberry patch to take care of.
It always helps, doesn't it? I'll do that before I get in the truck and go do all those things at those places, with the stuff.
WHEN YOU GET IN THE TRUCK YOU SHOULD KEEP ON DRIVING!!!!!!
Oh no where did you come from-
AND DRIVE REALLY FRICKING FAST TOO!! WHOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!
i invited her.
She's a pain!
I'M GONNA DRESS UP AS JACK SPARROW FOR HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!! AGAAAIN!!!!!!!
he he he
COME ON, LET'S GO!
i miss the horses.
Where'd that come from?
i miss them all the time.
EVEN WHEN IT'S COLD IN THE MORNING AND YOU THINK YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT TO THE BARN BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN TOWN?
Hey- do any of you feel like having a good cry?
KIND OF, YEAH.
We could. We could just have a little cry and then get on with our day.
yeah but that would take time away from our whole leaf raking and getting stuff done thing.
CRY! CRY! I LOVE CRYING! I HATE CRYING!
Screw it I'm going outside-
WHEN ARE WE GOING RIDING AGAIN?
can we cry at bedtime tonight?
I can't remember what I was writing about today.
WHEN IS WILL COMING BACK?
oh honey, will never leaves. he's permanent. he's here whether we like him or not. he's us. only we'd never ever be as cruel as he can be.
I'm getting a headache.
OH! I KNOW! IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SANITY, WHATEVER THE HECK THAT IS, WHY DON'T WE PUT SOME PICTURES UP! I LOVE PICTURES!!!!
yeah, roll off some pics and then let's get outta here.
I think this is the most unhelpful guide I've ever written.
I don't know what you expected to put in a hick chic guide to sanity. I mean c'mon. this is us we're dealing with here.
RRRMMMMMM GRRMMPFFFFFF GAHHHHHHHHH JOHNNYBEER BOOTSADDLE TRUCKMUDFLAP RRRMMMMFFFFF HUGMONSTER COUCHBOOKDOGCAT ROCKNROLL NOCAFFEINE HORSENOSTRILS GAHHHH
I really didn't mean to let her out. Sorry. Here are some pictures. I call it, "The Mental Health Collection."