An Agoraphobic, A Highway Paralytic, and Three Teenagers Go To A Concert...

Isn't this a great photo? Taken from where we were sitting? I mean, for real? Yes??!!!

We did it. I can't believe we did, but we did!!!

My bestest friend, Biddie, her two youngest, took the bus to the big city. I packed my daughter into the truck and headed into the city. I braved the perpetual traffic jam. I found the stadium, parked the truck, found the friends. Can you imagine the relief when I saw them? There are a LOT of people in the city. A lot. And I found them.

We got ourselves some slick tickets, man. On the floor. In the eleventh row. People like us don't get eleventh row tickets. People like us don't usually do to concerts like this. And we were there. There, like we deserved to be there!

And what was this concert? Oh it wasn't just a concert. It was...

The Beyonce Experience.




Oh yes.

She rose out of the stage in a haze of fog, that glorious mane of curls streaming in the wind machine, every tip of her head inciting a blast of noise. Backed up by three gloriously round singers, two keyboard players, three horn players, two drummers, a percussionist, a guitar player and a bass player. And six dancers. All women! Everybody on stage was female except for the four male dancers who were really just basically half naked eye candy.

But look at these singers. Aren't they awesome???


I wish you could have seen them doing the shake-n-bounce!

There was a little modern ballet episode. There was a musical theatre type show like the "he had it coming" section in Chicago. Multiple costume changes. The stage set was a series of steps with the risers lit up in different colours. There was a moving platform at the back. A conveyor belt at the front. A couch shaped like lips. Did I mention the fog machine? The wind machine? The silver confetti?

She sang. She danced. She wanted us to yell louder.


Can you believe these pictures? The girls took them! They're pretty slick with a camera aren't they? Good composition! And like, look how close to the stage we were!!!

I have never been to a diva show before. I take back anything I ever snickered about Beyonce being a barbie doll. This girl WORKS. Did I mention that we were in the eleventh row? Close enough to see her facial expressions? I watched her wipe the sweat off her face. This entire show had to be choreographed down the the second. What a production!

Check out the guitar player.


Kravitz wants to be her when he grows up.

I must say, it's interesting that Beyonce can dance around on stage in what basically amounts to her undies and a floaty nightie and I don't think, hmm, trashy. I think, Hmmm, she's in awesome shape. And she's a great dancer.

One of the things that marks an excellent concert for me is the sound of a whole stadium singing the song back to the artist. I can't imagine what a buzz that must be. It's a buzz to be in the audience for that, but imagine being the person who sang the song in the first place!

Did I mention the magnificent hair? I've been to a lot of concerts and most of them have been dudes with loud crunching guitars and lots of long stringy hair flying around. Well...there was as much or more hair flinging last night as a metal concert. I'm not kidding.

Speaking of other concerts...here's some people watching observations.

-across the board, clearly, a concert of any kind is going to bring out the girls who believe that in order to look good for the purposes of musical entertainment, one must wear towering heels, abbreviated clothes, and too much make up. And it doesn't necessarily look good

-if you go to a rock concert, chances are good that a few fellow concert goers will be wearing T shirts from that band's most recent show, or maybe another, equally rocking band's most recent show, or, worst case scenario, a rock band shirt bought from the kiosk at the mall. At a Beyonce Experience, there are no Mariah Carey T shirts. Just sayin.

-Not a whole lot of throwing of the horns. Until the bass player got up to do her solo. Although it's possible that it was just me throwin the ol horns.

-some girls think they are Beyonce. They are not.

The opening act was Robin Thicke. I didn't know what to expect. They don't play his stuff on my local alterna-metal-newrock-edge station. I was impressed. He's handsome, entertaining, and has a right smoooth falsetto. And I used to watch his Dad on TV.

I can't tell you how many times I felt like I didn't deserve to be there. Honestly, I don't have all of Beyonce's songs memorized like most of the girls around us did. But wow...what a gig.

I've gotten this feeling before. I've been to the Juno Awards, surrounded by rocks stars and TV people and thinking to myself that I am just this insignificant little country bumpkin and they'll turf me as soon as they find out that I'm a nobody. Of course, I soon got to figuring out that I am married to the Canadian music business and I do have every right to be there...even if I have to keep reminding myself of that. But last night, when we went down to the Platimum Level (!) and walked out onto the stadium floor (!) through the black curtain (!) I had that feeling all over again! Oh my gosh! I don't belong here! I got here in a pickup truck! I'm not rich! I'm not VIP!

Well screw it. It was awesome. And we had fun! I wouldn't have done it without my bestest though. That was a girl's night out. And yes, she brought her camera. There will be incriminating photos on her blog later. Oh yes there will.

It was worth the awful anxiety I wrestled with before the show. I survived. We all survived and got home! And my throat feels like I was screaming for two hours. Oh yes. I was.