Halloween, Trick or Treat, & Life in Town

You know, I don't think Halloween is just for kids. This is a theatrical event, people. This is entertainment. It's partly the whole "thumb your nose at the devil" thing, of course, and that's always fun. Being a halfway decent Christian myself, I guess I'm supposed to be avoiding all things that smack of evil, but come on. It's fun to dress up all scary and pretend I'm not scared!

I've lived in a subdivision the whole time my kids have been doing the trickortreat thing. I figure if I'm here I might as well make the best of it.

Here's how my sister and I did trickortreat in the 70s:

Get all dressed up. (I was usually a gypsy)
Get in the car.
Drive to Rachel's house.
Drive to Kelly's house.
Drive to Tammy's house.
Tanya's house.
Tara's house.
Grandma's house.

Go home.

Then Rachel's mom drives over to our house.

Repeat.

It was cool because since we all knew each other, the concept of checking candy was ridiculous. We'd make up little packages of candy and goodies for each other. My Grandma made these huge popcorn balls. Good stuff.

They never did let me dress up like the Headless Horseman and ride my pony around the neighbourhood though.

One year we did the trick or treat in town and came home with bags and bags of loot. We were right into self control, my sister and I, being impoverished and appreciative, and still had candy by Christmas after measuring it out one piece at a time.

Here's my son's lunch bag today:
(this is the place where, if Ass hat Blogger would co-operate with me, I'd insert a photo of his candy-filled lunch bag.... )

Ha ha ha, boy, that's very funny. Now go make a sandwich.

There are a lot of things that bug me about Halloween, sure, gluttony to name but one. Let's face it though. This is some fun.

What other time of year can you do this...

(insert photo of plastic skeleton impaled on pitchfork in front yard)

and it's okay????

When else can you dress up like a blue skinned prom queen? And answer the door in character? Because it's really all about staying in character. My daughter was A Goth this year and had the whole "My life is misery and gloom" thing down.

I was wearing a purple evening gown, with a blue wig, blue face and neck, fake eyelashes, red bags under my eyes and big red lips. I kinda looked like Courtney Love, oddly enough.


You need to know that I am very, very good at looking vague and unfocussed. I can look at you and past you at the same time.

Here's how things went:

(Knock on door. I descend the stairs with one hand sliding along the railing, the other drifting by my side, open door)
ME: (wispy voice) Do you guys want chips....or twizzlers?
12 YEAR OLD BOYS: um....chips....I guess...
ME: (dropping loot into pillowcases) Okay....happy halloween....


This was the best one!
(Knock etc etc)
These were three boys, about 14ish, two in some kind of gruesome get up, one wearing a motorcycle jacket. That was his costume. I dropped chip bags into the pillowcases and the middle kid held out a helmet.

ME: (peering into helmet, wispy voiced, wide eyed) Is that your head in there?
KID: uh...noooo.....
ME: Oh. That's too bad. It would be really cool if you had a severed head in there. You should do that next year.

They backed away slowly as I wished them a happy halloween.

The finale happened once my own kids and man and dog were back home again. I was lurking at the bottom of the steps in the dark. Some teen type kids came up. Vampires, and good ones too. They're probably Goth in real life (?) and take this very seriously. I turned around and went up to the door. The vampire jumped out of her skin. I skeered her! hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

Then of course we had the obligatory 8:30pm kid with a low voice show up before we shut it down. "How old are ya, twenny four?" I asked.

"Fourteen."

"Yeah right. Happy Halloween."

It took me ten minutes to wash the death pallor off. It was worth it.