www.flickr.com

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Hick Tips for Staying Cooool

Not like, Fonzie cool, but temperature cool. We're in the second day of our first Ontario heat wave. It was hot on the weekend but now it's insane. It'll be 34 without the humidex today. It's now 7:30 am and I've just shut all the windows. I don't know what 34 Celsius is in Fahrenheit; there's a good chance that all my Texan friends are groaning and eye-rolling right now at all the lame Canadian whining. But Canadians are the World Whining Champs. Come on folks. We have freezing winters and hot summers. I love variety, don't get me wrong, but you wouldn't believe the amount of clothing needed to live in this country. Parkas and bikinis...

I also suspect that my year on anti-depressants lessened my heat tolerance. Either that or I'm getting old!

So we don't have air conditioning in this house. Last year when we did the Big Necessary Renovation (still can't talk about it) we got the AC roughed in but couldn't afford to install it. I figured we'd be okay because I'm just smart enough to know how to keep the house from becoming an oven. (Except for the Necessary New Roof we put on two years ago, which is black, and may or may not capture more heat...) Here now are Heidi the Hick's Tips for Staying Cool.

CLOSE THE WINDOWS! It drives me nuts to walk past houses with the windows wide open in a heat wave. Whaddaya doing??? You're letting all the hot air in! Stop that! Close the windows in the morning, and pull the curtains shut.

THIN SUMMERY LACEY CURTAINS DO NOT BELONG TO SUMMER. Get yourself some friggin canvas. You've got to stop the heat from coming in.

FANS DO NOT COOL THE HOUSE. They cool the humans in the house. And the critters. You're not cooling the house by leaving your fans on when you're out for the day. You're just running up your hydro bill.

DON'T USE YOUR OVEN. The micro-nuke you can use. Don't even use the toaster. You're going to be eating salads and tomato sandwiches for a while. It's okay, because light food is probably better for you in this heat.

WALK THE DOG BEFORE THE KIDS GO TO SCHOOL. Which is what I have to do right about now...

TURN THINGS OFF. And that means your computer too! AARRGGHH! It generates heat. So does the guitar amp. Around here we get brownouts if everybody lives like they always do plus have the AC cranked. Personally I try not to use too much electricity, partly because I'm so cheap and partly because it just can't be good, overall...during a heat wave we can't use all the power.

IN THE EVENING, when the outside and inside temperature even out, open the windows. LET THE NIGHT AIR IN. It's not going to make a huge difference but it helps.

DRINK WATER. Hell suck on ice cubes if it makes you happier.

IT'S HOT, DAMMIT. YOU'RE GOING TO BE HOT. What do you want? Winter?

If you do have the AC you'll save a lot on your hydro bill if you try my very smart tips. I feel so sorry for people who live in the brand new subdivision part of town, where there are no trees. The sun beats down on the roof all day and it must cost a fortune to cool it down. Luckily we have a big maple tree in our back yard which helps to shade the house.

For the last two weeks, once it warmed up outside, it was actually unpleasantly cold in our basement. Well right now it's niiice. I must say, worth the renovation trauma.

We're pug owners now though, and a pug doesn't breath incredibly well on a good day. I know, what were we thinking...he's so amazing at other things! I think today when I'm out for the day I'll put him in the (new) downstairs bathroom, instead of in his kennel in the dining room. It's cool down there and he'll have room to stretch out. Poor little devil hasn't even shed all of his winter hair yet! The Cat is on my bed for the day, and I leave the ceiling fan on for him.

Man, a week and a half ago, it was freezing rain. Bit of a shock.

The worst part is, I have to go driving around in my truck today, my pollution belcher, contributing to the smog problem in the Greater Toronto Area. I try not to drive much in the summer at all; one of the great things about townie life is that biking is easier. But it's unavoidable today.

I do know one thing that makes me selfishly feel better. I tested the AC in the truck yesterday. It works. Whew.

Okay, my southern friends who took a long weekend, hope it was good for you! Look down...that's mine!

14 comments:

Timmy said...

I had to get the window unit put in this weekend. Its icy cold in my bedroom, to hell with the rest of the house!

CindyDianne said...

34 c is about 93 fahrenheit. That's hot, I'll give that to ya. We have been suffering through those temps everyday for about a month now. The 100's will surely be here in July.

Personally, it isn't my favorite time of the year. But the nice thing about it is that it stays light outside late. Of course, when you can't go outside until it cools down and the sun is up until 8:30 PM, it can make for late nights!

Distant Timbers Echo said...

Walking around in bikinis is a good way to chill. Just saying...

Matt Mullenix said...

34 celsius is 93.20 fahrenheit according to All Knowing WWW.

That qualifies as hot, even in Louisiana. But we get hotter and then stay hotter: what I hate are our long stretches without relief. Coldest part of the day being 74dF (23c) and wet as some unpleasant anatomical location on your choice of unwashed sweatshop laborer.

On the other hand, Spring is wonderful here. :-)

Heidi the Hick said...

Tim- last time I saw my sister she was putting the window unit into her kitchen window. Just in time. Her bedroom is right above so at least it's on top of the cool room!

CD and Matt-It isn't always hot this early. Usually the first one hits in about June. Sometimes it gets hotter, even up to the high 30s, but it doesn't stay that way for longer than a week. I have great admiration for Y'ALL to put up with that heat all summer!!!

Having said that, it's waaay better than winter!

Kari- Yeah right poor me! Just because I'm a wimpy Canuck! Waaahhh!

Nerdboy- This is bikini weather. Hell with the last five lbs. When yer hot yer hot, right!

Balloon Pirate said...

The proper way to use a fan to cool a house:

1) Close all the windows on the first floor

2) Open one window in the basement--if there's a choice, pick the one that's farthest away from the stairs.

3) Open one window on the top floor/attic--if there's a choice, pick the one that's farthest away from the stairs

4) Put a big assed fan in the window, set to 'exhaust.'

This will suck the cool air out of the basement, and up through the attic, lowering the temperature in the house by a few degrees. Not as good as A/C, but it does work.

We're suffering through our first heat wave of the season here, too. This is what I'm doing about it.

And if you want to know who the jumpsuit lady is, email me. There's a link on my blog page. I've got something I want to send you, anyhow.

Yeharr

Scottsdale Girl said...

111 Farenheit in Scottsdale by Wednesday.... I can't hardly stand thinkin about it.

jo(e) said...

We are having our first heat wave here too. My way of coping is to just lie on the floor and do nothing.

Heidi the Hick said...

Pirate, that is brilliant. I think that's the trick: don't let it get too hot in the house and then suck all the hot air out. We'll survive!

Heidi the Hick said...

Scottsdale Girl: OW. 111F. You have a pool I hope? Everybody says it's better in Arizona because it's a
"dry heat"; they say that about the prairies too. Humidity is a killer, but damn, hot is hot!

Jo(e), I like your style. You and my cat and my dog would get along juuuust fine!

Smartypants said...

I don't know how to live without air conditioning.

I'm very spoiled.

Scottsdale Girl said...

I do not have a pool..Too much lectricity to run one for my pittanced of pay. :)

Scottsdale Girl said...

aw hell. P I T T A N C E - no "D"

Heidi the Hick said...

Smarty- I can do without AC for the most part, and just hope for the heat waves to break so I can cool the house. But, I'm really enjoying AC in the car and the truck!

Scottsdale- we could buy an inflatable pool for under $300 but I don't think we can afford the upkeep! I feel your pain...