I am 35 years old and I still have recurring school nightmares. Just this morning, I woke up when the puppy whimpered to go out for a pee and realized that I was dreaming about school. Something about getting into class, and not having my books, and then searching for my locker, which kept moving, then finally having to crush the combination lock with my bare hands (angry frustrated rassa frackin) then as I riffle through the crap in my locker, being distracted by a guy on a dirt bike buzzing down the corridor and thinking, hey, no fair man. How come he gets to dirt bike in the school and I don't?
There are usually reasons for my nocturnal school difficulties. Today's reasons:
1) I'm working on a novel, which is set in 1988, at a rural high school, involving two misbehaving girls and a cast of bad boys. Oh wow. Now why do you think I'm dreaming about being in school again? Duh.
2) I'm going through all kinds of crap with my kids and school. They're both very bright and creative...no really, they are. I'm not just saying that. The girl has scary musical talent and ADD. The boy does bike stunts and is "gifted." I can't get the school to do dick all for my girl because she gets good marks, which she struggles painfully for, and she isn't disruptive. She's now blowing off her homework and having a hard time giving a care; I can hardly blame her. The boy is going to a different school next year for a full time gifted program which the school board won't give me transportation for, meaning that I'll have to go to two schools at the same time twice a day. Or car pool. Or pay for a &*%$#% bus.
I struggled through school. I never knew if I was too smart or a complete moron but it was a total drag. It took me five and a half years to get out of high school. Mind you, I spent some of grade nine drinking in the parking lot...whoops, whole other story...and I did one big fat year of college before deciding that I really didn't want to make a career out of making clay pots and selling them.
I just hope that my children can survive the system, jump through the necessary hoops, and not let their spirit be crushed by the world's expectations of normality. And eventually find a way to make a living doing the thing they're good at and love to do. Unlike their mother, who writes for free and rides horses for the pure joy of it.
My daughter is turning twelve tomorrow. My baby, my first born, the child who made me a mother. She's petite and beautiful and honest and funny. She cracks me up and chokes me up. I look at her and hope that her future is full of all she dreams for herself.
10 comments:
Heidi,
I earned my living BD (before dogs) working with children, finishing as a full time live in nanny for five children, seven dogs and more horses then common sense should allow. Call me Mr Belvedere, some have called me Uncle Buck, just don’t call me Mrs. Doubtfire.
You have an amazing heart for your children; your passion for your daughter is evident. No doubt, she is every bit as gifted as your son, the struggle comes when they don’t fit into the nine dots model that standardized educators tend to follow. Not bashing the public school system and I’m friend to several teachers that I consider true artists at their craft.
Just a word of encouragement, she is destined for success; she has a mother that concerns herself with her children and that’s far more then most enjoy. “Time spent” has always been the key as is the love and security that it demonstrates.
With a foundation like that, ya can’t go wrong.
(Thank goodness I never taught English or grammar)
Kari, thanks! I'll pass it along and I know she'll feel pretty special!
Gregg-You are very brave man! (5 kids!! 7 dogs! a silly amount of horses!) Thanks for your kind words. You've totally nailedit: My girl doesn't fit into the standardized model. We don't know if she's "gifted" because she didn't finish the written test. too boring! It's not really the school system's fault. And she's had some good teachers.
askinstoo- gonna ignore yoooo
I want to read the rough draft, when its done!!!
and HApPyBdAy to your youngin!
Whenever you build something, it looks like a mess when it's halfway finished.
The single most important factor, in my opinion, to raising successful kids is their knowing that you have an unshakeable faith in them. Not in their academic ability, or their physical skills, or their singing voice...in them.
Yeharr
She'll be fine. Happy birthday to her!
You on the other hand... Lay down on that couch. Now, let's begin with your parents...
[Jas takes out his notepad and pen]
:D
JJ- almost teenager!!! AAAARRRGGGHHH!
Biggest cheerleader! I can do that!
Two words, home education. Get your kids out of school so they can learn something.
Mark- I have thought of that so many times...but I don't know if I can do it! I do believe though, that even though I don't have the "proper education" to teach them, I can very well teach them stuff they'll never get in school. Like, how to move a horse from a trot to a walk without ending up on the horse's neck...such underrated knowledge!
Happy Belated Brithday to the girl! Has she been formally diagnosed with ADD? Have you considered medication? It might not be for her, but it's worth a try. Have you read any of the many books out there on ADD? I have and it's very enlightening. Just the knowledge of how an ADD mind works can help a lot.
yep, got the diagnosis, tried the drugs, going the other way now. She's doing better than she was a few years ago. She and I seem to have the same drug intolerance. Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
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