Monday, April 24, 2006

Jethro Returns from NYC, then We Dance.

Apparently, in Noo Yawk, rules mean nothing. You will always jaywalk because every intersection is full of cars. Stopped cars; a green light doesn't necessarily mean that cars can move yet. Tooting horns are ignored because they mean nothing. They're blasting all the time. Lights mean nothing because of the constant glaring glow.

And there's Jethro the Hick, long hair, goateed face, jeans and sweatshirt. It's not like he didn't fit in, because there are all types in that place. Nobody notices. Everybody is busy.

Jethro's producer friend was in his glory. He's a way downtown kinda guy. Jethro was kind of bummed out that I couldn't -- or wouldn't-- go with him. I told him we'd already yanked the kids out of school for our trip to Halifax only three weeks before. Plus I had had enough city stuff for a while. After four days in Halifax, which I actually loved, I had to get out. I would last four minutes in NYC.

He took pictures and brought home ball caps for us.

People, this is HICK HELL:

I can't think of a reason why I'd have to go there.

He got home just in time, because, LATER THAT EVENING we went to a benefit concert put on by our neighbour friend. Did we have a good time? Heck yes.

disclaimer: I am wearing my Super Duper Mega Bra here. I don't look like this in Real Life. That's about 2 inches of padding between me and the world. At least two men made it very clear that they didn't care. I love men. So uncomplicated.

We even raised some money for a good cause.

I am definitely thinking that if I could scream and dance at least once a week I wouldn't have panic attacks as often. In fact, I'm thinking of amping up the mini-dance-parties that break out in our living room after supper occasionally to full-on Dance Fever. Every evening. Push the rocking chair up against the wall kids. It's time to rawk.

I was tired like crazy the next day but it was worth it. I actually got two and a half beers into me. I quit halfway into the third bottle. I just looked at it and said, "Heidi, I think that's good for now." And then I answered myself, "Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. Let's not ruin it," and gave the bottle to another one of my neighbours who can't stand seeing a beer wasted.

I danced so hard I had to take off my Johnny hoodie. I sweated on Johnny.

I was one of the youngish ones at the local dive pool hall that night. Most of us were over 40. If anybody needs to get out of the house, it's us.


Kari said...

NYC, um I don't think so. Never, ever, ever wanna go there.

Heidi the Hick said...

I can't see why I'd ever need to go there!

madamerouge said...

I want to donate to that charity. I'm 100% serious. Do you know the people that work at that bar?



Notsocranky Yankee said...

I love NYC! My father took me there when I was a kid and I still have the tickets from going up in the World Trade Center! We also went to the Stock Exchange, but I was like 11 yrs old and didn't really care. We ended the day at a Yankees night game (even though I'm a Red Sox fan)and then home.

When I was flying out of Atlanta, I flew trips to layover in the city. We stayed just off Times Square and I would go for long runs in Central Park. People watching is fun and you're right, nobody cares what you are doing or wearing. I went down to "ground zero" the month after the Sept. 11th attacks and it was like a sci fi movie. I came up out of the subway and everything was gray with ash and there was a lot of destruction, whereas everything seemed back to normal just a few stops north at my hotel. Very eery.

Don't get me wrong. I love where I live and I would never want to raise my kids in the city, but I think it's an amazing place to visit.

Notsocranky Yankee said...

Glad you went out when Jethro came home. Again, you rock!

(We crank tunes during dinner. Lately some classic Social Distortion -- the kids think it's oddly quiet w/o it!)

Heidi the Hick said...

madame-I think all we did was collect and then donate it the next day at the MS walk. The guitar player's wife has MS and it's not a well known disease, really, for all the people affected by it. I'll ask the guys and get back to you.

yankee- after the initial shock of the scary photos I sort of told Jethro that MAYBE I'd go with him someday, but only if I have this claustrophobic panic thing a little more under control. Takes all kinds of places to make a world.

Balloon Pirate said...

My 'check engine' light went on again after looking at the first photo.

I need a date.


Balloon Pirate said...

Let me clarify. It went on after looking at the first photo of YOU.

And it's not even half-nekkid thursday.


Redneck Nerdboy! said...

You couldn't frickin' get me into New York City. Now, NY State is beautiful, but not the city. Talk about a nightmare! The armpit of all that is civilized. Blech!

Nice picture of you! You look very pretty! Men are simple. We're one track minded, switching tracks often.

By the way, you should slap me around for not adding you to my list of favorites yet! You, being a hick like me, are right up my alley!

John Q. Public esq. said...

a) yes, your pretty, more so if you grew those pits out

b) learned it from the old timers, one of those summer jobs as a kid

c) I am not a big horse person, they are like tractors to me, not pets, its just how a grew-up.

d) I hate big cities too... small cities ok, NY-LA no way

e) love you love the show!

all my best,


pluvialis said...

I think you might have the coolest hair in the world.

NYC: oh no. I just don't get it. I have been there twice, and both times I just didn't get it. At all. Hick hell, pluvialis hell. But I did eat some Amazing Pizza. That was good.

Heidi the Hick said...

thanks guys! You didn't even read the words at the side of the photo, didja? See, that's what I mean, just love the men.

and JQP, you're right: horses aren't pets...pets can sit in your lap or on your feet.

I love horses for just who they are too.

Heidi the Hick said...

Pluvialis- Jethro did say there was some good eatin' there. And I do love to eat, especially when I didn't make it first.

Funny thing is, city people cannot understand why anybody WOULDN'T want to live in the city. And we're all waving our hands in front of our faces in horror.

Is there any kind of award for cool hair? And if so, uh, can I make a living of any kind off of it?

Heidi the Hick said...

Actually, my last dye job was dicey. billy told me that my hair is quite fried and maybe I should consider not dying it for awhile.

Meanwhile my sister who is younger than me has a gorgeous white streak in her bangs. She does not feel qualified, age wise, for white hair, so she streaks it with red to match the rest. She cannot figure out why I would dye my hair if it isn't grey yet.

Well, I'm a freak, what can I say.

George Larson said...

I get allergic smelling hay.

You get full credit for my "J.Depp" post.

Your post is the only reason that I made that 'chop. I looked at it and thought "Bob Ross". This begat work.

Heidi the Hick said...

oh Georgie I'm so pleased. Most fanatical fans would have been really pissed off but I have a sick sense of humour. If Johnny Depp was playing Bob Ross I'd still watch it. And laugh.

You with the hay allergy, me with the broken sarcasm switch.

Smartypants said...

Heidi. Never give away the secret of a good bra.

Let them believe what they will believe.

Heidi the Hick said...

Words of wisdom!

madamerouge said...


"Bitchin' Camaro" by Dead Milkmen