the Baby Blues

THIS IS RICH.

A year ago,

this guy











was publicly berating this woman










for her use of anti-depressants to help her deal with a severe post-partum depression.

Some kind of poetic justice has given each of them a daughter born on the same day.

I'm not a huge fan of anti-depressants, or Tom Cruise. In fact I may even like Tom more than I like the drugs. I think it's great that Tom advocates an alternative to drugs for treating depression. I'm all for that. I was on that crap for most of last year and I hated it.

HOWEVER a) it may have kept me alive
and b) as a woman who was never diagnosed with post-partum, despite the obvious signs of it now that we look back, I say, if you need the damn drugs to keep you from driving your car into a brick wall, with your infant child strapped in with you, then take the damn drugs.

Brooke made some very wise comment at the time as to how Tom should get back to her on that after he gives birth.

Don't try to analyze post-partum depression: it is the most irrational thing on the planet. How can you look at a precious newborn and only think of death? I don't know. But I've felt it. The worst part is, it's not even scary. At the time. You're too messed up to realize how wrong the thinking is.

Dear god, I hope Katie doesn't get the post-partum. For her sake.

As for Brooke and family, I've heard many other-mothers saying that she's nuts to have a second one after what she went through the first time around. Maybe so, but I know where she's coming from. I didn't even realize I was depressed after the first one, and two years later I was back for more. Turns out, the second baby was waaaay more difficult. He was born in less than an hour. Then he cried for two years. Now he's the coolest most awesome boy in the world.

Let me make this perfectly clear: Having a baby is selfish. You have a baby because you want one, not because the baby will make your life better or because it's time, or because you're lonely. It's okay to want a baby. All babies should be wanted.

I didn't spend my teenage years wishing for motherhood-in fact I put a fair amount of effort into avoiding it! After we got married we were going to wait a few years but our baby girl surprised us. Life's never been the same since and I often thank her for that.

And, I thank god every day that somewhere in my murky mind, I knew that I had to love that baby boy, and relish every smile, every moment when his eyes were wide open and he was looking at me, no matter what horrible thoughts took up my brain.

So, To Katie, I hope all those Scientologists know how to cook because you're going to need some good food. It'll take a lot of energy to deal with SuperDad.

To Brooke, you stared the demon of depression in the eye and you beat it. Soak up that baby. And hire someone to cook for you.