I'm indulging my sick showbiz fascination this weekend.
First of all, some of my favourite actors who WON'T be getting a little gold guy this year:
Johnny Depp. Let me get this straight, Capt. Jack Sparrow was good enough to get him a nomination, but Willy Wonka wasn't? Willy Wonka was creepy. And funny. And troubled. And didn't really look like what we expected to see. Don't get me wrong, I though Capt. Jack was brilliant, and will be the new benchmark for all pirate portrayals from here on. I just think that if this guy was supposed to get nominated for anything, honestly, it should have been in about 1992. For Edward Scissorhands.
John Malkovitch. He's just so creepy. He's the go-to guy for creepy.
Christopher Walken. Just because he is who he is. He's got a thing that he does very well. And he does it over and over again. He calls it, Christopher Walken.
Angelina Jolie. She's beautiful, and she's completely crazy. She's also a good actress. She is very good at Becoming Someone Else. She already has an Oscar for efficently stealing Girl, Interrupted from Winona Ryder. This year she's got the Homewrecker Prize for stealing Brad, Fickle from his wife, (who I'm told is also an actor) and creating more of them for us. I shouldn't like her so much, because of all this stealing, but you know, I just have a special affinity for crazy women.
John Cusack. For being adorable. Consistently, likeably adorable, even when his character is being a jerk. Still adorable.
Salma Hayek. Not just gorgeous. Go watch Frida. Oh and also I respect her for representing the Gravity Defying Bum. It's the Special Affinity again.
Owen Wilson. Known alternatively as This Guy! On google images, the whole page consisted of This Guy! grinning. I believe he grew up in Texas, out in the sticks, which I think is cool. Plus he was really funny in Bottle Rocket.
Scarlett Johanssen. She always looks like she's Not Acting. That's quickly becoming my personal benchmark for good acting. I just don't want to work so hard to watch somebody act. Scarlett is easy to watch.
Christopher Guest. I believe that he is incredibly underrated. What can't this man do? He's my hero.
Anjelica Huston. What a face.
Marlon Brando. He won't get an Oscar because he died a few years ago, but regardless, he would just give it away anyways. He made it look easy. Mumbling and all.
Helena Bonham Carter. She's got slightly crazy eyes. You're never sure what time period she's from. And if Tim Burton loves her then I love her too.
Christina Ricci. Also timeless, plus she's slightly scary looking. Most of all, she played Wednesday Addams and she's been in three movies with Johnny Depp.
So, about those nominations? I have to admit, I'm way behind. I've seen very few of the movies up for grabs this year. Pathetic, I call myself a fan. But I do know this:
Joaquin Phoenix. I think he's another actor who's effortless to watch. He's believable. And judging from the photos, he got the Johnny Cash thing down. It's hard to portray someone so iconic, but I can't see anybody else doing it better.
Keira Knightley. I heard Domino was awful in every way but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. She's good at fiery and plucky. She's very expressive. I wonder how much range she has. She probably won't win because she's young. Besides, she's up against Charlize Theron and Felicity Huffman playing Unattractive, and Oscar just loves that.
I did go to see The Corpse Bride last year, and I thought it was brilliant. However, I do have a soft spot for Wallace & Gromit.
Best Picture is so obvious. I'm not just saying that because I love cowboys. I'm saying that because EVERYBODY loves cowboys.