Thursday, March 23, 2006

Holy Crap Buddy! Where's the Fire?!

A couple of days ago, I kid you not, a guy stole a friggin fire truck.

Now let's get this out of the way: that's bad! That's a really, very bad thing to do! You can't do that!

But sweet lord, wouldn't it be FUN.

Apparently the four firefighters were in the Home Depot, where one was returning some faucets. Buddy climbed in, and, according to the officials, figured out the magical combination of flipping switches and pushing buttons until the thing started, and then, WHOO HOO!!! Off he goes, full on, lights flashing, sirens wailing, barely keeping it between the ditches, all the way out of the burbs and north into the country.

God help me, I'm getting shaky legs just thinking about it. Ah jealousy.

I hear he hit two cars on his way, just kind of tapped them out of the way. It's really amazing that nobody got hurt.

Here's the kind of convo the incident inspired between my husband and I: (He swears a lot. And is constantly in trouble with the kids for it.)

JETHRO- The guys he hit were probably shitting their pants because they didn't get out of the way for the fire truck fast enough.

ME-If I was driving a friggin fire truck, I'd be nudging cars outta my way. Damn right. Imagine the fire fighters coming out of the Home Depot and the truck's gone!

JETHRO-they are in shit! I don't think the guy started it. I bet it was running. Oh those guys are in deep deep shit.

ME- They were probably parked in the NO PARKING, FIRE ROUTE lane!

JETHRO- Man, you could park a fxxxing fire truck anywhere you could fit it. A fire truck with a wheelchair sticker!

ME-wow, you could park anywhere...

JETHRO-You know, that was a really big day for that guy. Big day.

ME-sigh. I would love to steal a fire truck.


Notsocranky Yankee said...

That does sound like fun! Our small town has a volunteer fire department that I would love to join, just to drive the the firetrucks. A few years back, there was a "volunteer" who lit an old barn on fire (he had been drinking), just so he could have a little work. He's no longer in the dept....

John Q. Public esq. said...

How many? ( Men a night, get it?)

gee, all us Amish get that one...
you Mennonites sure are slow.

and I am biracial too!



Smartypants said...

Firemen. So hot.

(Sorry. It's been a long day.)

Heidi the Hick said...

yankee- whoo hoo! But burning a barn down...geez. Harsh. If is wasn't a pacifist I'd kick his ass!

John- I cannot believe, I truly cannot believe, that I didn't get that joke. I am shamed!!!!

But I got something to make up for it.
Why don't mennonites have sex standing up?
Because it might lead to dancing!

Amish catholic. Wow. Serious culture clash. You must be even more confused than me. We should jam sometime.

Smarty- You deserve a break, you work hard!