I gotta run, folks. I'm feeling like a caged animal and I can't be in town anymore. Jethro's holding down the fort here while I gather up the kids and dog and cat and blast outta here. It's feeling spring-like, with all the snow melting, revealing nasty stuff underneath, garbage, litter, road sand, and in the backyards, melting dog poop. It occurs to me that there is one thing missing around here. That would be the smell of melting horse manure.
So I'm gonna go smell me some horse manure, kids.
Here are some things to keep you busy till I come back. Don't worry, no stress, this is not homework. Homework during March Break is just EVIL and I wouldn't do that to you. This is just in case you are on hold while sitting at your desk. Know that I am thinking of you as you sit and wait. Actually I won't be thinking of you but I am at this very second.
Favourite things to share with you:
A real working tractor. 1958 JD 430. I'm going to drive it this week. My old man's gotta have something out there that needs to be dragged somewhere else. Then I'll feel better.
His name was Hollywood Dun It. He died last year, but thanks to the wonders of modern reproductive science, his little swimmers will be making new Dun It foals for a few more years. Honestly that weirds me out a little. But he sure was something special, wasn't he?
I'm not sure who this is but he was an offspring of a horse named Goer. You should have seen what came up in google images when I punched in Goer. Ha ha! I think this horse would be a nice boyfriend for our little Lady. They'd have a beautiful foal together. But, I can't afford him.
This is Justin Hawkins. He has his own name tattoed on his shoulder. He likes himself. He's a wicked guitar player. He has an extensive collection of the Gibson Les Paul model. Are all those YOUR guitars? I think he's hideous and hot at the same time and it confuses me.
Robert Plant. I fell in love with him twenty years ago, listening to Led Zeppelin in my farmhouse bedroom, staring at the few photos I had. He changed my life!
I think he's still beautiful.
This is the inside of our barn. It's a cathedral of wood. These are disappearing fast and I think that's tragic. New barns are square, sterilized, boring boxes. There's nowhere for birds to roost. No interesting architecture. No axe marks in the huge wooden beams. No wooden beams. New barns have their purpose and their advantages. But there will never be buildings like this again. I think we should save them. If we don't house animals in them, we should party in them. I mean it.
Last night I dreamed I was at the VW dealer looking at a new Golf. If I didn't drive a pickup I'd drive a Golf to get around town. But you can't pull a horse trailer with a Golf. When I'm rich I'll keep them both.
In my dream Jethro was driving a BMW which was very hot but too expensive to maintain, so he'd be trading it in and getting his old silver Jetta back. Good thing they didn't sell it on him, eh? Jethro would looove to drive a BMW. Since we got the Jetta two years ago, he has begun referring to himself as, "Just another asshole in a German car, heh heh heh." He'd love to have a slick Geman car with a fine coating of road dust on it, with maybe a small amount of horse manure on the tires, just to class up the parking lot at the studio a little bit.
This is what my puppy will look like in 6 months.
This is what he believes he looks like.
Here's something I won't be drinking when I'm visiting my parents. They're not against it. They're just not into it.
And finally, something for my girls to gaze at lovingly while I'm taking a little break.
How to make a barn look even better:
Okay, it's coveralls and rubber boots time. See ya!