What Unicorn Ranchers wear to do chores...

Holy smokes, did you see American Idol last night? Did you see what Paula Abdul was wearing???? Wow. Just, wow.

Tragically, I can't find any pictures of the incredible outfit. None. But I have to tell somebody about it because it was PHA-NOMENAL.

NEWSFLASH! You must go to the amazing GO FUG YOURSELF because THEY HAVE PICTURES!!!

Now first of all, remember that I'm not really very sarcastic. If I say that I adore Paula Abdul, I mean it.



She's little, like me, she has great hair, she always finds something nice to say about everybody, she has often busted out very real tears on TV, and sometimes can't finish her sentences. Like me. Sure I can do sentences here, but you should see me in real life. Cuz like, um, it's the uh... yeah.

She cracks me up. I was especially susceptible to being cracked up last night because I'm all medicated and belly-achy and shaky from not eating much for the last week. And Paula was in fine form last night.

So the show, blah blah blah, I love it, it's good entertainment, it gathers the family around the old Radiation King before bedtime! It gives us huge topics of conversation!

I don't have any photos from last night. Geez, get the website updated, doncha know some bloggers need pictures????

David Cook -awesome!




Michael Johns sang it like he meant it!



Brooke White is excellent!



Chikeze is adorable and I want him to do more country bluegrass!



And looking at Carly Smithson is like looking at my sister-in-law twenty years ago, (only without the tats.)




But that was not the highlight of the show. oooooh no.





I will now attempt to explain, since I can't find any pictures, what Paula was wearing.

Hair done up in some kind of flippy chignon updo sort of thing.

High necked, sleeveless, sparkly evening gown sort of garment of some vague shade that might have been silver or taupe or maybe a combination of those two nebulous non-colours.

One shoulder appeared to have more fabric than the other.

And- oh my gosh- what at first appeared to be satin elbow length black gloves.

But on closer inspection appeared to be rubber or latex.

With no fingertips.

With two sparkly bracelets on each wrist.

And a big honkin ring on one abbreviated finger.

And then when she stood up to applaud Kristy's genius song choice -seriously, who's not going to vote for that? -- it turns out that Paula is not wearing an evening gown at all. It's a top. And it looks like her pants are made of the same material as her gloves.

Whoa.

I have long suspected that she's a Unicorn Rancher and I think this proves it. I can't tell you how often I wish I could just say "SCREW IT! ALL OF IT! I'M DROPPING OUT OF SOCIETY AND I'M GONNA RAISE UNICORNS!"

And people, when I drift out to feed my unicorns, I would wear something like that. Fairy dust won't stick to those gloves, right?

My mom has a habit of calling me after young Archuleta sings, and asking me how wonderful he is.



I agree and then ask her if she saw what Paula was wearing. My mom's not a Unicorn Rancher and I think Paula's crazy genius is sort of lost on her. Oh my gosh, I love Paula. She brightens my life.

She is, if I may use her own words, "a blend of all the favourite colours I know."

She said that to Jason Castro a couple of weeks ago. I almost lost my mind. What an amazing quote. And she just made it up on the spot.




I think he could be a Unicorn Rancher too. I love it when he blanks out mid-interview. Dude actually admitted last night, after Dad Cowell gave him heck for slacking off, that yeah, he could practice a little more...!



And yes, Simon Cowell, people can have colours in their voices. But Simon probably can't see unicorns either. Geez.