Dolly Parton was on American Idol last night. I'm getting my haircut today.

She's the girl next door...if you happen to live next door to an amusement park!  And I didn't come up with that, she did!

There's only one Dolly, which is probably a good thing because I don't think the world can handle more than force of nature like this.

What amazes me about Dolly is her authenticity.  Even with the fake nails and hairpieces and... well everything, she's still so down to earth.  She'd be the first one to tell you that it takes a lot of work to look as outrageous as she does.  I believe she's even compared herself to a show dog!

She's so over the top, she's for real.  But it's just wrong when anybody else tries this.  Only Dolly Parton can look like THIS and not look stupid.  Because she is Dolly Parton.  

And you, my friend, are not Dolly Parton.  Nope, you are not. No big yellow hair and sparkly gingham shirt for you, uh uh!  Sorry!

But I'll tell ya, I suddenly very much want a yellow pickup truck and a giant pink dress. Why is it illegal in Ontario to ride around in the back of a pickup truck?  Why?  It can't be because it'll wreck your magnificent up-do.  Dolly would find a way around it.  I love the title of her newest record.  BACKWOODS BARBIE.  That is awesome.   That is so Hick Chic.  She is my hero.

But let's not forget the whole reason why she is a superstar.  It's her talent.  She has written, like, a gazillion songs.  At least.  Seriously, twenty-five number 1 hits.  Her songs have been covered by everyone from Whitney Houston to the White Stripes.  You know her voice the instant you hear it.  

And I, my friends, am not Dolly Parton.  Not in any way shape or form!


I've got a noon appointment for a cut and colour.  I'm trying a new place.  The salon has a name I can never remember and nobody flinched when I told them I'm a year overdue for a little trim.  When I said I want some pink highlights, she nodded her head and told me they could do that.  Yessss!  Although I'm feeling kind of burned because a girl named Avril totally jacked my pink hair thing.  Okay, she doesn't know me from a hole in the ground, but I'm just saying, I was totally doing pink hair two years ago.  Imagine running into her at a party.  It would be awkward.  I'm just saying.  

And then I'm going to do laundry and pack.  Pictures to follow.  Of the hair do, not of the suitcase.  

And IIIII eeeIIIIIIIIII

will always 

love youuuuuuuu.....