First we got our kid baptized, then we went to the smash-up derby!

And that's how we do things around here in Mennonite country.

(Annyong did a very sincere, short and sweet testimony, and I am amazed over and over at how honest, good, and smart she is.  One nice lady complimented me on bringing my daughter to Jesus but I replied that it really was my daughter's decision... after all that is one major component of the faith.)

(We even had a few special-guest-loved-ones join us for church!)

(Also there were several broken axles, a couple of minor fires under the hood, and a couple incidents of one car leapfrogging another.  I took a picture but my iGadget appears to be snubbing my MacBook so I can't get it here.  Sorrayyyy.)

(Nobody got hurt.  A lot of Caprice and Crown Vics got messed up pretty bad though.)



(PRAISE JESUS!)

THIS WEEK IN HICK LIFE

I added "amateur cat vet" to my list of things I don't get paid to do

Moe is doing great!  He's always happy to see us when we check on him and he's trying to stand.  He's shaky and not putting any weight on the injured leg but it's a start.  The wound is closing but still uuuugly.  I am amazed at his tolerance and resilience.  This cat has the happiest attitude ever... and a heck of a will to live!

My kid turned 16

Still absorbing this... gimme another week ok?

Most of the farmers did the first cut of hay

Dude, it's MAY.  Way early.  But who cares man, this means it smells like hay everywhere and I looove that!

It was really hot this week. I sweated a lot.  Went through three changes of clothes in a day.

How unpleasant.  Here, have a nice picture of Johnny Depp to clear your mind.  He looks cooool.  Ignore the gun under his arm.  Maybe he's just happy to see us.

My horses got their tetanus shots this week.

And then the next day I got mine.  When I say I feel their pain, I mean it.  But they don't have to steer with their necks so I get to win the pity party.

Only went to the dump once this week.

And I came home with a nasty trucker tan on my left arm. This was before the tetanus shot, back when I could freely hang my arm out the window while zooming down the road with the ol' 60mph air-conditioning going, if you know what I mean.

American Idol is done, and so is Grumpy Uncle Simon, but Paula Abdul was back! to say all kinds of sweet things.

Awww.  She looked like a pink cupcake as her magical unicorn dust swirled through the air.  Actually I didn't see any of it, because...

I dragged my bestest friend to an author reading.

She is such a good sport, because she didn't know this author at all.  It was a great excuse for us to both get out in the evening, plus we both have a couple of anxiety issues, and we can face our fears together!!!  Also she didn't laugh at me for being completely starstruck to meet Guy Gavriel Kay.  

Afterwards we sat outside with her man and daughter and five bouncy little dogs.  OMG Biddie is like Sharon Osbourne with the little dogs!  I just thought of that now!  

It's nice to be living closer to her.  We still don't get to see each other much but it's better than before.  

There's this show called LOST which I decided after the first two episodes not to commit to because I didn't have enough time.

In January the kids and I gave in.  We figured it didn't matter if we didn't know what was going on because those who watched consistently didn't know either, it seemed.  We taped the finale so we could watch it together.  We're only halfway through.  See?

I found the nicest, most level place to put that pool we promised we'd get when we moved out to the country.

It's away from the road, not to close to trees that will fill the pool with leaves, and flat enough ground to avoid doing any grading.  Problems: can't shell out the $ for that inflatable pool right now (see above with the horses and cats and vets); not sure if we can run electrical for pool pump down there in the yard; not sure if solar powered pumps are available or if we can afford it; and we have this little technicality...

THIS is currently taking up pool space.  Anybody want a nice 80s vintage plow truck?  It's a 4x4!!!

Throwing things into suitcases and getting ready to party with rockstars

alternate title: IF IT'S CLEAN, IT'S FORMAL WEAR.

(Calgary, 2008)

Normally I start packing a few days ahead of time, but I had this cold, see, and then a big bin showed up and I had to fling some metal into it -- oooh flinging metal!  Sweeeet! -- then I had an appt with DOCTACHAN which took a very long trip down the highway and blah blah blah I didn't pack a thing until this morning.  

Truth: Jethro and I stood in the bedroom at the farmhouse and did "Are we taking this" to each other for what felt like an hour.  I almost left without any socks.  But I think I have about 5 pairs of tights.  Fishnets?  Hmm, east coast, that's appropriate, right?  

I'm pretty sure we both have enough undies for the trip.  I mean for each of us.  

More than ever, since I've been living in farm country, I'm seeing the contrast between Heidi the Hick and Heidi the Wife of the Recording Engineer who Gets Nominated for Awards.  Like, I packed two pairs of boots and neither are useful barn boots.  I packed no overalls.  However I do have my pink John Deere hat.  Gotta keep it real.  

Let's have a look (because I'm either a huge narcissist, or have no embarrassment capabilities) at the two sides of me:

(with my farm dog, winter 2009)

(Calgary, 08 in the most awesome dress evar)

(prettying up the big fella instead of myself)

(Vancouver '09: the dress I wore to my prom is so tight 20 years later it's making my forehead vein pop)

(I shouldn't even post pix like this - what the heck is wrong with me?)

(Like high school, only older and heavier!!)

How many times have we done this and I still can't believe it.  Me, the little dork covered in pony dirt, and him, the kid from the big house behind the feed mill, walking past all the famous people and being unrecognized on the red carpet!!!!

Aw, he's more than paid his dues.  He deserves a fun weekend. "Give me a weekend there, I'll pick up that east coast accent."  

Geez, my bestest friend Biddie was there for less than two years in her teens and I can still hear the accent on her!  

OH and I haven't even told you what I'm wearing.  It's a surprise.  Even to me.  My blog buddy Cara is going to surprise me!  

Okay I'm officially excited now.  The plane takes off at dark o'clock....

Oh, Lola!

My best friend turned 40 on Friday, and all I can talk about today is her tiny 5 month old dog. Sorry Bid, it's just that this puppy kinda stole my heart.

LOOK AT THOSE EARS! Oh my gosh, I couldn't stop giggling and cooing over her! She's the funniest, cutest, most endearing little dog!

Here's the thing: I used to be indifferent to small dogs. I liked German Shepherds, big mutts, Huskies, Labradors, even Rottweilers. Biddie always had small dogs, and while I liked them- how could I not? - I still considered myself a Big Dog person. Useful dogs. Not lap dogs. Not for myself anyways.

Then we got realistic about our potential dog ownership and realized that a big dog is not so practical when you live in the Burbs (and visit Grandma a lot, and drive a VW Jetta). I started looking at small dogs differently. We got the Pug.

Now I LOVE small dogs. I've discovered the amazing amount of personality and attitude stuffed into a small amount of dog-body.

I dare you to look at this picture and not melt with delight. You wanna smile and talk in a silly voice right now, doncha? Doncha? Huh? It's all you can do right now to remain dignified. If you saw this puppy in real life you'd be a babbling mess.

Also, in the background you can see another little beggar trying to get some food from Big Dusty Dude. I can't tell if that's Ruby, the mother of the puppies, or Bruno, the Mellowest Puppy on Earth. I kinda wanted to hide him in my giant leather purse and take him home.

She cracks me up! And yes, in case you're wondering, she is wearing clothes. There's an 18 year old in the house who believes that girl-dogs should dress up. Just promise you'll never cover up THOSE EARS!!! Gotta go- the cute is melting my brain.

Hello, Beautiful.

Big day -- Happy Birthday to two awe-inspiring women. Both reaching the big 4-0 today!

Bridget, who's been a wonderful friend to me for over 20 years. (Over 20 and let's just leave it at that, right?!) She's funny, loving, imaginative, generous, emotional, dramatic, did I mention funny?  She can swear like a trucker, write stories that will make you cry your eyes out, and has a pet bird that she rescued.  That's the kind of girl she is.  And she's totally bonkers. (Love you, Bid!)

Heidi, who is one of the most honest and creative and sweetest I've (never) met! I am honoured to be a part of her group of writers, not just because she gives such great critiques, but because she just makes me feel like it's gonna be okay. (Thanks, Heidi!)  Plus she has a pretty name.

And now... it's JOHNNY TIME!

I almost can't take it... it's just too much...

Okay, fine, one more. 

Sigh... much better.  Have a good weekend my dears!

PUPPIES! (forget your gloom and doom) PUPPIES!

We had to make a short and sweet stop at my bestest friend's house, because we hadn't been in that neck of the woods for about six weeks and HAD TO SEE THE PUPPIES! They're about a month old, and had just started out on their first steps two days before.  Oh my gosh.  I do not need another dog I do not need another dog Idonotneedanotherdog. (If you want to see a video of squeaking wobbling puppies go back to Biddie's blog.  Go on, you know you wanna.)

They are five soft wiggling bundles of cute overload.  They could halt wars and cure diseases, I'm sure.

Did I say soft?  Soooo so so soft!

They are the babies of a gorgeous tiny Yorkie- Shi-Tzu or if you want to get fancy about it, a SHORKIE, hahaha, and a large boisterous Bichon Frise.  Although I could be wrong about that; I'd just call them Pretty and Silly.  The puppies would be...BiShork?  Borkie?  Shork-frise?  Let's just call them Adorable.  (And if you wish to call them Mutts, be assured that Mutts are awesome!)

They totally put on a show for us.  They were making little growling noises as they pretended to fight, and they tried out a few little barks.  Oh man it was soooocute!

Look at the little white tuft on the end of that tail!

This is Ruby, the mama.  It's her first litter.  And her last.  She darn near died for these little guys.  They're not allowed to suckle her anymore (good thing there are lots of humans in the house willing to bottle feed puppies) but she is still a protective and loving mama.  

All ferocious 7 lbs of her.

Of course, I'm like Snow White with the critters.  I simply hold out my hands and the woodland creatures and house pets flock to me.  I'm a critter magnet.  

Handfuls of puppies!!! I'm in HEAVEN!

They were suckling my sweater.  And my knuckles.  And Bucky's ankle.  He's pretty sure they almost gummed off his Achilles tendon.  

Are you seeing those white eyelashes?  Like, just knock me over right now.  

Any idea how hard it was to NOT slip one into a coat pocket?

Or make a rash impulsive promise to fork over the cash and take one home in a few more weeks?

I do not need another dog.  My mom does not want another dog to visit her on weekends.  No more dogs.  NO, no!  But I looked over at Jethro and he's there on the couch with this dreamy eyed look of puppy love and I had to look away, quick!

Doesn't this one look a little like a Pug?   Brown and black?

Things got kind of Billie Jean for a minute. 

The kid is... not my son!

sigh.

All I get to keep is the lingering lovey feeling of tiny puppy paws and puppy tongues, and the softness of their brand new fur.  

And gums.

Awwwww.......

What a week at Grandma's farm will do for ya...

Yeah, I know, it does seem a little pretentious to call 5 acres with two horses a farm, but it will always be that to me.  I remember the barn being full of pigs.  We're all kind of glad it's just horses now, and barn swallows.  

My mom and sister both took holidays last week, which meant they took the kids and I for a few tours of the local area.  We shopped at the "Friff Store" and at the best bookstore in the world... it took us an hour to go through that tiny shop.  I love it.  We went to see WALL-E.  Went for not one but two tours of a gorgeous little piece of land.  Went grocery shopping with Mom and didn't freak out.  Went out for lunch.  

We celebrated my cousin's wedding.  I didn't dance at all because I was so busy catching up with my cousins and aunts and uncles.

We rode our horses every day.  I'll write more about that later!

The kids divided their time between the tree and the 4 wheeler.  In the house they got away with watching way more TV than at home.  Ironically, out in the country there are more channels than we get in town.  That's only because our TV is in the basement and I'm too cheap to get cable!  My son is now heavily into watching The News.  

Also, he learned how to drive this week.  Just a few days before  his 12th birthday, meaning that he's in line with the majority of the family.  And darnit, the kid's pretty good!  He drove that van up the back lane and then reversed down the hill over and over.  

We visited some friends who are dairy farmers and small breeders (pun intended) of mini horses.  They have six of them, a stallion, three mares, and two foals. Holy cute!  Plus their dog recently had a litter of TWELVE puppies!  Being Golden Retrievers, they are almost the size of my Pug.  That was funny!  

On top of that, I managed to borrow my Mom's car to drive to the next biggest city and visit my bestest.  All of her kids were home too.  Imagine three small dogs ripping around the house... actually, two small dogs and one fretful tiny dog who wasn't sure if she should be joining them or giving them heck.  Then we ended up with baby bunnies in our hands.  Mercy.

By Thursday, it occurred to me... that I was feeling... really,  really good.  Quite great, actually.  I went through the list.  Chest pain?  Not really.   Breathing?  Easily.  Appetite?  Not great, but functioning.  Weight?  Not losing any more.  Teeth grinding?  Don't think so.  Irritating repetitive thoughts?  Strangely, blissfully, absent!!!!  

Oh relief.  What caused this turn?  The pills started working?  Horse time?  Mom's cooking?  The hills and trees and fields outside the windows?  Dad's freshly painted John Deere 430?  That long philosophical talk with my sister?  

Does it matter WHY I feel better?  Don't analyze: enjoy!  

I will share this:  My sister is brilliant.  I don't write about her much because she is a very private person and doesn't like the idea of being read about.  But I have to share this. 

 She's gotten through an extremely difficult year by learning all over again how to pray.  She doesn't close  her eyes at night and make up a task list for God to fulfill.  

I told her that my prayers lately have been a mess of help-me-help-me-I'm-desperate-help-me.  

She starts off by listing what she's thankful for.  

Well if you start that, even if your life is a total wreck and you think you've got nothing to be thankful for, you can start at the very most basic thing... YOU ARE STILL BREATHING.  

Doesn't this match up with my whole new thing about the Tiny Steps?

So I tried it.  The bedroom window was open, with the crickets cricketing and the big trucks swishing down the highway outside.  I had a choice.  Feel disgruntled by the lumpy old mattress or focus on being there, in the country, in my childhood home.  It turns out that my thankfulness list was pretty darn long. 

Sweetie came up with that all on her own.  She is a genius.  

I went to sleep with visions of farmhouses and barns and hay fields and barn cats and saddle racks in my head.  I can't say I slept well, but judging by my shift of mood, it's okay.  Yep.  It's okay, and I'll take it.

I also got a few more paragraphs done in my next epic novel.  I squeezed that in between dishes and laundry.  Look at me go, eh?  I can't do everything but I can do some things!

Stay tuned... I'll be back here and there without warning.  I'm just full of surprises...

We only have this weekend left...

...but the radio told me that it will be a warm, cloudless, blue sky kind of weekend. I must soak it up.




I get totally melancholy this time of year. Miserable. Mourning. As of next Tuesday, our two months of freedom are over. Back to the three ring circus of school and life. Back to the grind.

(Stay with me here...it gets better and there will be more pictures.)


This year, despite having what my husband calls a Rockin Good Summer, I feel the same way. Truth is I always do. This year, I didn't reach all my goals. I didn't complete my Level 3 Rider test. I didn't get my query letter sent out to ten agents. I didn't start writing the next book. I haven't even been out to the farm since the end of July. I haven't ridden my horses in over a month.

Worse...I got bucked off my own horse. And um...it wasn't just once either.

I am not very happy about this.

It's not how I envisioned my summer going.

So, I sit here on a Friday, on the verge of the last long weekend of the summer, realizing that I have a choice.

I HAVE A CHOICE.

I can commiserate on how crappy my summer was...or I can look at all the good that happened.

I am very close to completing my Level 3 Rider test. I could pass it now, as long as I give the book a good read over before the written portion, which has been the toughest for me so far. I tend to blank out when faced with multiple choice. I can ride the test easily and I know what I have to do for the stable management portion. But I took the pressure off. Susan's baby is due, like, two days ago, and I figured I can just as easily do the test in October when she's back on her feet. She plans to start teaching again by then. I will become a certified riding coach, and I don't have to rush it. The more methodically I go through the process, the better it will stick in my head.

I got my query letter to one agent, who I like very much, and got the best rejection of my life. He explained to me, and anybody else who reads his blog, how I can better use my book's selling points to attract interest for it. It was a totally brain expanding experience! It made me go back and take another good hard unflinching look at my entire book, and realize that I'd been selling the whole book short. The point of the story made sense to me...but I wrote it. Would somebody who came from a totally different place get it? I went through another grueling edit. Now, it's ready. I've got a list of agents, all carefully researched and narrowed down. The query letter has been dismantled, reassembled, and scrutinized. I feel so grateful for that rejection. Sure it feels like I've been slowed down; I wanted to have an agent by the end of the summer. But I plan to make this into a long career. I will be doing this ten years from now. I decided not to make fast and eager mistakes now. Why rush it for the sake of two months?

I didn't start writing the next book. Nope, I didn't. I started taking notes on TWO new books. I don't know which one I'll write first, but I know I won't run out of something to work on. I like that feeling.

We've got a plan to get me my own barn. We are putting the steps in place to make it happen.


I'm going to hang this picture beside my bridle rack.

I had a completely farmless August, and haven't had time for my horses, but I did get out to Susan's a few times and feel like I've really made progress. Sometimes I have to remind myself that there is a six year old mare out there who started off with me as a scrawny sad lame little filly whose mama didn't want her.


She is now a lovely little horse with a big round hip and a cute face, who will happily carry a kid around, bareback, saddled, whichever. She wears a nice little curb bit in her mouth, and can walk, jog and lope on command. She'll turn on a leg cue and a neck rein. And you know what? I did that. I trained that horse. She is still quite green, and far from perfect, but...she's only been ridden on weekends. She's never really had consistent training. Phoenix will turn out okay. He had his two months at the trainer when he was a youngster. He has a clue. He's smart, and strong, and has a mind of his own. Just how I like 'em!



I still miss ol Champ. I find myself wishing I had one reliable horse, rather than two six year olds who will probably be reliable. He wasn't either at this age. It takes time to make a good horse. Next year will be different yet again.

It hasn't been a wasted summer. I've been to the beach a few times and plan another one this weekend. I saw FOUR movies this summer. I read a pile of books. My kids read a couple of books each. I went to two concerts with someone I've been friends with for over twenty years and had never been to a concert with before. I cleaned up my bookcase and realized that it's a dream I've made come true for myself- I have my own library.

I know that as much as I hate giving them back, having the kids in school means I can get more work done. I can devote a few hours a day to writing and the business of getting my book published, and getting back into the routine of going out to Susan's barn twice each week. I won't spend as much time each day reminding my kids that it is not my job to juggle flaming chainsaws for their entertainment. I'll get back to my exercise class once a week to keep my back in decent shape. It'll be okay. They will be, I will be.

We're at a crossroads. The kids are bigger and more capable, developing their independence. I'm getting my stuff going on. Poor ol Jethro's looking at some huge changes in his work situation.

And you know what? Now that I've typed it, it's done for today. Done for the weekend. I'm going to do some yard work, visit my horses, visit the beach, and not think about this again until Monday night.

Until then...I leave you with this...